Organic Bounty: Food that Fucks

Farmer’s Market Haul

People who grow organic food are making our world more attractive. Food provides us with the building blocks of life, and beautiful produce produces beautiful people. Our energy, our appearance, our intellect: everything we are and do is impacted by the food we eat. So, of course your enjoyment of sex is going to be affected, too.

50 Shades of Green

Organic food doesn’t sound sexy on face value, but when you consider the intimacies of intercourse it only makes sense. The better your diet, the cleaner your body, the more your chance of a fun time goes up.

Horny Cornacopia

Food is an aphrodesiac. The flavors you consume become you. If you want to improve your love life, try eating some delicious organic produce, like this haul from Live Earth Farms.

A Message from my Dad: WATER

Today, there is a crisis in the world. Well, actually there are lots, but I just want to focus on one to begin with. A solution to this particular crisis might offer auxiliary positive results for other problems.

Drought is an existential problem in much of the world. In California, and probably elsewhere, we are mostly advised to conserve. I’m sorry, that is untenable, giving up and even deleterious.

We need to supply water through desalinization–massive amounts of water. The water would not only supply human needs, it would benefit wild animals, trees, plants–our environment. We are partners in this endeavor. It is more ambitious and vital that super fast trains and trips to the moon or Mars.

A plan that could be feasible is piping ocean water far enough from the shore. Once on the shore, solar panels would be placed on the pipes powering heat and pumps. These pipes would run twenty to one hundred miles to areas that could be created into reservoirs and at that point over the constant heating would be opened into the reservoirs. It would be necessary to add natural chemicals to make the water healthy and suitable for people and plants.

The next phase would be to send the water to cities, towns, rivers, aquifers, forests and farmlands. This is a rough idea, but I am counting on your brain power, hard work, and will to solve the problems. Let me go over some of the problems. As the water is being pumped and heated there must be immediate safeguards for rips or tears. We can’t have saltwater spilling on our land. There will be an enormous amount of salt. Some of it can be used commercially, some maybe for power stations, but most of it will have to be secured safely.

The next problem is work force and funding. These jobs will be meaningful with many facets and skills. Plus, there could easily be training to improve people’s job skills. Unions, the military, private enterprise, the federal and state governments could all coordinate and work together. The funding should also be cooperative–federal, state, local, insurance, manufacturers, Wall Street, agriculture, pharmaceutical–anyone who has a stake in the survival of us all.

In California, we will need to be aware of our restrictions. Be careful, but move as fast and as much as we can. Right now, the super forest fires are destroying more plants and trees than ever before. If we give these environments enough water on the ground and in the aquifers, we will still have forest fires but they will be less powerful. We will give them a fighting chance.

If we desalinate from Texas and send the water to the drought states east of the Rockies, we will need to harden the system from damage by hurricanes and tornadoes.

There are of course difficulties that I cannot even imagine. But I do know you can imagine and solve.

Many countries are in peril–drought stricken, flooded, and sinking into the ocean. I might as well propose a few more ideas since I am on a roll. The lunatic crank roll.

Agriculture–this could be used anywhere with drought barren land prone to super fires. Take Australia. There is enough land if made productive to feed the world. The idea is this: first desalinate and fill the land in the barren desolate of the country. Next create within two to five miles from the ocean shoreline: fisheries and fish farms.

The fisheries would be used to replenish the oceans of any declining ocean plants, fish and ocean mammals. The fish farms would involve commercial fish and plants. I think the holding tanks would need to be connected to the ocean with saltwater flowing back to ocean. The most popular and nutritious fish and ocean plants would be harvested commercially. There is a lot of so-called waste in the process. This could all be sent by pipe or on trucks to the nascent farms. Starvation might never be a problem again.

Another possible crank idea has to do with tornadoes and possibly hurricanes, especially hurricanes. These we see developing and basically just sit and wait for the outcome. Why couldn’t we disrupt the top layers, make them wobble and dissipate their power. Lasers, bombs, dry ice–I don’t have a clue, but I think you can come up with one.

My final idea is a metaphor. My philosophical prejudice is not to think or call these projects some kind of war. We have bad luck with war. In this country, the war on poverty, drugs, Viet Nam, Iraq–that’s a few of ours that have made things worse.

We should think of it as an enterprise–one that we don’t conquer anything but make everyone benefit.

Thanks,

The Crank