Ego is Wherever We Go
You can’t decide to not have an ego. That’s not how it works. At least not in the Freudian sense. Ego is fundamental to our concept of self. The problem arises when your sense of your own value becomes distorted and disproportional to your actual standing in society.
When people are deeply troubled, they sometimes resort to narcissism, which is a pathological focus on the self. It is common to confuse self love with narcissism because both involve self absorption. The huge difference is that a person who is working on achieving a form of self love has very different motivations than someone reflexively transforming the world around them to suit their identity.
In Service to Others
The pursuit of self love is a journey of hard work and self actuation with the goal of becoming a more loving person to others. Narcissistic energy is only in the service of self. This is like the difference between happiness and doing drugs.