Portraits of Imagined Lives
Category: Art Made
Bullfrog Spirit
This image was made during an all-day hike I did around the Old Growth loop of redwoods at Henry Cowell Park. I had arrived before sunrise and my intention was to stay until sunset. I had made a lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, two bananas, and two apples. I was carrying my camera bag and my tripod and listening to podcasts.
There were two podcasts that I remember most vividly from that walk. One was an episode of Legion of Skanks when they were on the road in Boston talking about going out to dinner at a chain seafood restaurant and then one of their homeboys got burned with coffee when they stopped at a McDonalds while driving back to NY. That podcast is entertaining, a reliably funny comedy team, but the strange thing is how when I walk for a long time in the woods, I remember what I am listening to so vividly. I also listened to a podcast by the Art Newsletter that was devoted to a show of Vermeer that is happening currently in Amsterdam. This juxtaposition of low brown comedy and high-level art talk is a perfect characterization of how I feel about art generally, and especially this image of the bullfrog.
I was studying the light and trying to learn the redwoods. When I hike a place repeatedly over a period, the powerful compositions eventually make themselves known to me. It is an interesting process, like studying a difficult text of literature. At first, you are just going through the space and your mind is thinking about other things as well as the task at hand. The more you go back over the same terrain or text, however, the more it starts to make sense to you. You begin to master the landscape and understand what is coming up and when certain angles or phrases crystalize into something vivid and important.
This twelve-hour expedition, however, proved to be harder than I had imagined. I expected there to be some discomfort certainly but as the day progressed the pain become more and more intense, and the fatigue was a very real thing. Still, I focused my mind on studying the trail, on watching the light and in making myself set up the tripod and make some images any time I saw a good composition come into being.
I began to feel a little bit desperate and then more so. I knew there was no danger really. I could leave at any time and hike back to my car and to civilization. The park Rangers were clearing storm debris on that day and making little mounds of the branches to be burned on a later date. The Visitor Center had a fire going inside in their fireplace and the smoke from the chimney hung in the air of the old growth grove scratching my eyes and throat. There was no wind at all. My legs were sore, my back ached, and my mind raced and kept insisting on getting the hell out of there.
Surely, I had seen enough. I had made dozens of loops around the giant trees, and I knew each corner and turn of the trail. Faces had begun to show up in the burls of the redwoods and even then, I was no longer impressed. I was experiencing low level hallucinations, like I was on a small dose of mushrooms and the trees were full of things I may not have seen otherwise. I didn’t care. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there.
What the fuck was I doing? My dad was dead, I needed to find more work, and this sure as hell was not going to help. That’s the nature of art. You don’t do it because it is obvious or because it makes sense. You do it because if you don’t do it, you will hate yourself. If I left earlier than sunset, nobody but me would know. But I would know and that’s absolutely the worst audience to let down. So, I kept trudging through the muddy path making my stupid little pictures. I had lost my sense of humor. The faces in the trees mocked me. My food was all gone.
I came around the corner, though, and there was a little pile of rocks, and someone was looking down at the ground right in front of it. What the fuck was that? It was a half blind bullfrog. Someone had set up a marker so dumb tired hikers like me wouldn’t step on it. I waited for the onlooker to move on and then I set up my tripod as low as it would go and started to photograph the bullfrog. It wasn’t moving anywhere. You could see it breathing but one eye was completely glazed over, and it showed zero signs of fear. I could get as close as I wanted to without me bothering it one little bit.
It was an ugly little fucker, but I loved it. It was my spirit animal.
I got as many shots as I needed and then continued my torturous trek, now with more energy and an absolute refusal to quit. If I had left, like the little wimpy voice inside of me kept begging me to do, I would have missed my spirit animal. Fuck that voice.
Anyways, this is the only bullfrog I have ever photographed, and I think it is one of the best images I got that day although there were many and it was worth it. I studied the light, learned the compositions, and had a visitation from a spirit animal. Still need more work, my dad is still showing up in my dreams, but art isn’t supposed to cure all your problems. It’s an adventure of the spirit. Making art is supposed to inspire and inspire me it did.
Notes from Ben Lomond: 7 March 2023
Digital Photography
What are your favorite techniques in digital photography? I enjoy focus stacking and compositing. Both are ways to use the computer to enhance the ability of your camera.
Focus stacking involves taking the same photograph five or six times with different focus. This allows you to create a very deep depth of field. The purpose of focus stacking is to create an image that is everywhere in focus, like the goals of the f/64 group of Ansel Adams, Edward Weston, Imogen Cunningham, and others. Those photographers were using larger format cameras with smaller apertures. Most digital cameras today only stop down to f/22 or in some cases f/32. Focus stacking is a way of achieving a similar goal of brutal unadulterated focus with digital cameras.
Photo compositing is when you take four or five photos but move the camera and overlap the images so when you stitch them together, they blend into a much bigger image than your frame alone could offer. This is also a way to use a “full frame” digital camera to create an image that is more like a medium format film camera. I’m going to do a few examples of both focus stacking and photo compositing today and will post them as blog entries in the coming week.
Theater
One of the reasons I want to write plays and not screenplays is because theater is a medium that gives an entire team a chance to work, but it is also very conservative in terms of waste. You simply write the script and print it out a dozen times and it can be turned into a production. Set design and costumes might require more expense but can often be reused and will be used for the duration of the show. When we watch a theatrical performance, it contributes to the artistic economy without taking from the environment. You don’t have to blow up an entire city to make art. Two people on stage talking can be much more meaningful and profound.
Stories
All stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. They don’t have to proceed in chronological order, but the logic of the story must exist. Usually, a story involves a protagonist who is trying to achieve some goal who then encounters and antagonistic force that complicates the process. This process of striving and being held back escalates and intensifies until the action of the story reaches a point of climax where something is done that cannot be taken back. The characters reach a point of no return. The rest of the story tells the resolution of that action. Either the protagonist prevails and manages to reach their goal, they survive and change their goal, or they do not live, and the forces of antagonism are successful. This is the basic structure of a plot as found in Aristotle’s Poetics.
Writing
We live in an anti-intellectual culture. Our politicians are constantly lying to us and trying to convince us to remain powerless. Our future is uncertain to say the least. In this context, writing itself is a revolutionary act. For those who are willfully illiterate, the act of someone writing can even be terrifying. This does not make it terrorism, however. It is simply writing. Thinkers have been considering the power of writing at least since the time of Longinus.
Fitness
Recently I discovered that I was overdoing it on my workouts and not giving my body enough fuel. The solution, I learned was to eat more carbs before working out, and even to eat some during working out. We live in such an anti-carb culture, but I think that is because we live in a culture that does not get enough exercise. Click this link, if you want to learn how I figured out I was not eating enough carbs.
Beauty
When I make photographs or any form of visual art, beauty is the main goal. The mystery of the beautiful moment has compelled me for my entire adult life. I find women to be beautiful, and the challenge of capturing that beauty motivates me to study the art of photography. Anything can be beautiful, though. With the right light, the right composition, the right mood the peculiar quality of beauty can emerge. If you are paying close enough attention, you can capture that with a camera.
Fashion
When we talk about fashion, we usually are referring to luxury brands and bizarre outfits paraded on a catwalk in a metropolitan city in front of a small group of elites. Fashion is also an everyday thing. This is where the concept of streetwear came from and evolved into hypebeasts. I want to learn more about fashion, but my personal fashion only gets wild when it comes to boardshorts. I’m open to trying some new styles in my daily outfits, though, and I’m looking forward to collaborating with my longtime friend Jacob at Shalom Clothing. That is the label that most closely fits my aesthetic currently, and I want to try on some of his new inventions.
Outdoors
I have been hiking the absolute heck out of Fall Creek, Henry Cowell, and Quail Hollow ranch. It’s been cold and wet, but beautiful. When I am outdoors, I feel more connected to the world. It makes me more aware of the little changes in the season and grounds me.
Environmental Conservation
I aim to drive as infrequently as possible, but I still can’t get out of it as a member of this society. Driving is too ingrained in our lifestyle to just stop. Still, it’s hard to believe that we are just going to keep on poisoning our air and waters. What will it take for us to become responsible stewards of our environment? Why is this not the number one thing that all politicians are discussing?
We all share the same environment, and it is quickly filling up with microplastics and brake dust. I don’t have a solution, but I do care about the future of our planet and if that comes across as virtue signaling that’s fine with me. I’d rather risk looking like a person who is trying to promote good ideas for clicks than someone who is trying to appear like they don’t care at all for clicks.
If you really want to become a person of value, you will start to talk more about environmental conservation. I know it’s hypocritical to be using modern technology and complaining about it ruining our environment, but that’s the paradoxical nature of our times. I don’t care about that critique. What I do care about is changing our cultural conversation to increase the demand for viable alternatives and putting pressure on our elected officials to implement innovative policy. Ok?
Media Literacy
The rush to be the first to report on some current event is a disease that is making our culture sick. If we want to do better collectively, we need to start valuing veracity over velocity. Getting it right should matter much more than getting it out first. We should reward responsible reporting and penalize people who rush but get their facts wrong. This is one of the first principles of media literacy: wait to form a judgment until you are certain of the facts. If the facts are uncertain, then a degree of uncertainty is appropriate in your reporting. We don’t always have to have hyperbolic takes on every issue. It is ok for there to be some nuance.
Online Marketing
In a world that is oversaturated with online marketing, it is important to make it easy for people to opt in or opt out of your messaging. This is one reason why e-mail marketing is effective. It shows up in people’s inbox, but they must click and open it to see what you are saying. Ironically, that pause is critical to being invitational. When you show up in someone’s timeline on social media it is in the stream of a lot of other content, and you have zero control over how that experience goes. When you email someone, there is a good chance that they will read it when they are working or in a more serious frame of mind.
Food
I’m making plans to create content with one of my favorite foodies, Teddy Danielson. She is just back from a trip to Spain, so I’m expecting her to be fired up and enthusiastic about making some new culinary creations. If you want to see an example of her work, check out this blog The Joy of Ribs.
Baking
I recently made some Easter Cookie Cups with Lindor truffles melted inside. I made a dough with browned butter and half brown sugar and half regular sugar. The more brown sugar in the ratio, the chewier the cookies, but since these were going to be a cup that has to hold the truffle, I opted for an even 50/50. I chilled the dough overnight to allow the flour to fully hydrate and then formed them into cups inside a muffin tin. I added one Lindor truffle to each cup and when they were finished it was one of the most delicious inventions I have ever baked.
Nutrition
As I have been upping my fitness game, I have been paying more attention to nutrition. After all, health is wealth, and you build your body in the kitchen. I still have a long way to go in understanding how the body works and what foods are best to eat when, but I’m understanding the importance of carbs when it comes to endurance activities. Strength conditioning requires a lot of protein to build muscle, but when you do high exertion activities for more than a couple of hours, you must supply your body with plenty of carbs.
Restaurants
I recently had the opportunity to photograph behind the scenes at Duarte’s Tavern in Pescadero, CA. This place is a foodie institution and it was a pleasure to watch the two chefs get busy on the line. You can check out the first blogs I published on my experience there, HERE: Duarte’s Food Art, 1st Part and Olallieberry Soft Serve
History
I have been listening to an Audible audio book from their Great Courses series on World War II. I think that it is such a dark and disturbing conflict that it is hard to study, but it helps to put the current conflict between Russia and Ukraine in context. When Hitler started to invade other countries, the world did not mobilize fast enough. When people talk about the conflict in Ukraine being a battle for the free world, this is what they mean. If Putin is allowed to take Ukraine, what is going to stop Russia from doing the same thing in other countries? International belligerence cannot be ignored, even if there are other pressing problems domestically and elsewhere.
Art
I have started the process of making prints for my next online auction. I have about 33 images chosen and I am printing them in black and white on paper. The next step is to narrow this down to 9 images that I will then coat with acrylic medium, allow to dry, and remove the paper by submerging in water and rubbing the paper off. This is called an Acrylic Gel Transfer, and it creates a plastic skin with the image on it that you can then transfer onto a canvas. I still have two left from my last sale if you are interested in starting your collection. The next auction will be on March 15th. Trestle Reflection and River Rocks are still available for $120
Podcasts
One of my favorite podcasts is the H3 Podcast because the hosts went to UCSC and because they have a great sense of humor and politics when it comes to the Internet. If you are curious about how Internet culture works, this is the podcast to show you.
Photo of the Day
Today, I am featuring three photos that I’m making available as prints.
Notes from Ben Lomond, CA: 6 March 2023
I decided to start a new project with this blog. I’ve been sharing stories about making photographs and food, but I also wanted to think about the topics that are important to me. This is an attempt to start a conversation, so if you have any ideas to add or questions about anything I am thinking feel free to leave a comment.
I’m also posting a new photograph that I will make available as a print every day. Photography is most meaningful when you make it into a print. I will have my next online auction on March 15th. The online auctions are for black and white images that I personally make into Gel Transfers on Canvas. They are one of a one pieces and they are part of an extended fine art project. The prints that I make available on a daily basis are printed by Bay Photo.
Digital Photography
Digital photography makes the learning curve less steep, but that also means that you don’t grow as much unless you really care about the artform. Sometimes, easier is not better.
Dramatic Arts
When is the last time you saw a good play? What is the current state of theater in Santa Cruz? Where are the dramatic arts thriving?
Stories
What is your favorite way of consuming stories? I was listening to the new release of The Strokes compilation of singles, and it reminded me how much I love that band for the stories they tell in their songs.
Writing
Writing is the main ingredient missing in most of the media that I see. Writing is not just the crafting of sentences, but externalizing thought and revising it until it makes sense and sounds good.
Fitness
Fitness is a starting point for life. I don’t understand how anyone could possibly not have fitness as one of their top priorities. It is also how you can eat more baked goods without gaining weight. C’mon!
Beauty
Beauty makes the world bearable. We have so much bad news, so many problems, and so much uncertainty. Beautiful moments keep us connected to the earth like a kind of emotional gravity.
Fashion
Fashion is a problem. Why can’t we have clothes that look good without exploiting people in another country. I feel like this is the biggest problem that gets talked about the least. I want to make shirts for the public who want to wear something cool that isn’t obnoxiously advertising for a brand.
The Great Outdoors
Being outdoors is very important to me. I can only take so much time inside before I crave fresh air and large landscapes. I also worship natural light and am constantly searching for it. It sometimes creeps in through a window, but you have to go outdoors to really study the light.
Environmental Conservation
Environmental conservation should be on everyone’s agenda. I don’t care if you are skeptical about climate change. How about not poisoning the rivers and the ocean? We have so much bullshit plastic in the world, and it seems like we are not doing enough to stop it. Ironically, the so-called conservatives seem to put environmental conservatism lowest on their list and support horrible policies in the name of the economy. Guess what? We all live in one atmosphere, with one environment. No amount of money can buy you out of that situation.
Media Literacy
Media literacy is a super unpopular topic. I try to promote the ideas and best practices that I have developed, but it falls on deaf ears. It’s like showing up at a party with math homework. Still, it is probably the only thing that can really make a difference in terms of our public discourse, our shared values, and the current state of mental health. So, I’m going to keep trying.
Online Marketing
The ever-shifting world of online marketing has some fundamental problems and some evergreen truths. While the tactics for reaching an audience are constantly changing, the way you craft a message and how you represent a brand still have some consistent themes.
Food
Food is the soul of culture. It is the one area we can find the most cultural interaction. It is a place to share the best of who we are with others and is the most hopeful category of culture. Especially in a world that is fatigued with disasters and anxiety, food is a bright source of positivity.
Baking
Baking is one of my favorite ways to create content. I love the alchemical magic of the oven. Learning the process that dough or other foods undergoes with heat is an endlessly fascinating artform.
Nutrition
Nutrition is something that we can research to improve our quality of life immediately. Learning how to track your macros gives you a much greater control over your bodily constitution.
Restaurants
I don’t eat at restaurants these days because I can’t afford them. I look forward to the day when I can rejoin the public who enjoy eating out. It is one of my favorite ways to socialize, but it is also always expensive and a weird moment when the check arrives unless you have a budget for it. Who is going to get it? Are we going to split it? How much tip should we leave? Can we really afford this extravagance? It is one of the reasons I would like to have more money. I also like to work with restaurants to help promote their food. If you know of any restaurants that are in need of photos, send them my way!
History
History is always happening and the only way to make it make sense is by learning what has come before. It is obviously an endless topic, impossible to master. Still, it helps so much to put things in perspective and without it we have no way of understanding anything. I’ve been very interested in learning more about local history lately. For example: Aptos, Soquel, Zayante, and abalone are the only native words that are commonly used here.
Art
Art is still the things that drives me. It is the mysterious force of life that forms the core of my identity. I don’t know what it is, but I have a good idea what isn’t it and that’s everywhere in social media. We are in a weird phase of art history, but I think that it will morph into something great before long. I have my own goals and desires, and I hope that they come to fruition, but art is always going to evolve as that is intrinsic to its nature.
Podcasts
Podcasts are a strange cure for loneliness. They are also how I keep tabs on what is happening that is relevant culturally. So many podcasts rely upon covering contemporary topics with humor, and that is honestly how public opinions are formed. It’s all about reacting to the events of the day. It is, therefore, a mostly shallow form, but one that is friendly and fun listening.
Photo of the Day
I took this photo last night with wet feet and cold hands. I was listening to the Real Ass Podcast with my phone about to die. I had shot the entire sunset, but it was these clouds as I was walking back to my car that I loved the most. The Real Ass Podcast is a funny and wildly inappropriate show hosted by Luis J. Gomez and Zac D’Amico. You have to have a twisted sense of humor to appreciate it, but if you do it is one of the funniest programs ever.
