Own Your Sorrow

Victim mentality: what is it and why does it happen? People are complicated creatures with lots of layers and many of the deeper ones are unknown if not unknowable. Our interactions are so numerous, varied and of different qualities that it can be difficult to understand who is having what effect on us. How do the people you relate to change the way you experience the world? More importantly, how do you take charge of the situation.

Action

I think that one of the reasons that we can get stuck in a victim’s mentality when something goes wrong is our inability to see the negative in our own personality. Instead of looking at your own decisions, you see your problems as external. This is something that Covey talks about in 7 Habits. It is very easy to be reactive instead of proactive.

Right place right time

The thing is, your happiness depends upon you reclaiming your own power. Whatever has happened to you in your childhood or even this morning is not going to help you to make good decisions today, unless you face it and figure out why you made those decisions back then. That can be very scary, but the other alternative is far more worrying.

Be in charge of your story

I think that part of the challenge of life is an idea that we could ever get to a comfortable place. That is just not going to happen. Any illusion of comfort you have is just a side effect of the distortion of space. You are just focusing on one part of the picture in order to feel pleasure, but what you are ignoring is possibly going to be much harder to deal with when it arises.

Less is moon

How do we move from a victim’s mentality to a warrior’s attitude of unrelenting drive? I think you have to keep asking what it is that you can do. If you focus on how you can improve the situation, then you give yourself a chance.

Own your experiments


Still, things will happen that are beyond your control and some of them are going to be negative and will hurt. How do you experience your losses without sliding into a victim mentality? The easiest way to let go of a loss is to own it. I gave it my best shot, but it was not enough. The competition found a way to do more and they won. It is really that simple. You cannot blame anyone else for your problems.

Own your dreams

One way you can identify the degree to which a victim’s mentality has infected your thinking is by looking at the language you use. Are you writing in the active voice or are you using passive voice? This is such an important difference, but sometimes we do not even know that we are doing it. Let me give you an example and hopefully it will show how the language we use is more than just descriptive, it is formative. Language creates meaning, it doesn’t just communicate it.

Abstract Expressionist photo

Say you want to share a story about going to photograph the moon. Every sentence has a subject (the hero of the sentence) and a predicate (the hero’s action). If you phrase it so that the action has more importance than the hero you have fallen into passive voice. If you put the hero of the sentence in the driver’s seat, then they have the chance to be actively leading the charge. Let me show you in an example.

RIP Kobe and Gianna

The crescent moon was going to set at 7:20, so we had to get in place early in order to capture that last twenty minutes of moonlight.

What or who is the hero of the sentence? What actions are they taking? In this version, it could be easy to mistake the moon for the main actor, because the moon is going to set. It is driving the action. Let’s try it another way.

We knew that the crescent moon was going to set at 7:20, so we positioned ourselves on the beach ahead of time, and we were able to capture that last twenty minutes of moonlight.

The difference can be subtle. It is a matter of agency. Is it the moon that is driving the action or is it your decision to photograph it setting? If the moon is in charge, then you are positioned as a victim who is slavishly doing what you have to in order to achieve your goal. While it might seem subtle, the difference is huge. You are either putting yourself in the position of being the hero of your own story, or you are being acted upon.

This is especially important in a world with mobile internet, because we are subject to news all day every day, so it becomes very easy to slide into a passive mode of reacting to what is happening. The victim mentality is sneaky as fuck. We have to watch the way we think.

Yesterday we got some very troubling news here in California, the land of celebrities, the oasis of cultural heroes. One of our greats, one of our all-time legendary basketball players died in a helicopter crash along with his daughter, another family, and the pilot. Nine people died. Obviously, most people care about all of them, but not many people knew the other family. Basketball fans of a certain age KNEW Kobe, though, and that was why we were so devastated by the news. If you were following Kobe’s story, then you probably were loving his dedication to his daughters and his care in passing down his skills and drive to them. Learning that he died with his daughter on their way to a basketball game sent an enormous wave of grief through our entire country if not the world. Every father’s worst fear came to life in that moment. We all experienced something of the sheer inability to protect your daughter from death as you plunge towards the earth in a fiery death trap when we realized what actually happened and that, that, that is just too much to bear. It is too fucking tragic to believe. When I heard the news there was a moment where the emotional well inside of me threatened to break through the dam. I could feel all the fear and grief of fathers immemorial inside of me as I considered that last moment of fear and of love. Did Kobe comfort Gigi? Did he tell her that he loved her and that it is going to be ok?

Grief is something that enters our life unexpectedly and puts a heavy weight on our minds and hearts, but we do not need to let grief get the best of us. How do you own your grief? How do you take charge of your own process of feeling sad about something you have lost? There is nothing any of us could have done to change the outcome of Kobe and his daughter and that poor family who was with them and the pilot who had no ability to save them. It was an accident. There is nobody to blame. How do we act in a way that reflects our own agency?

You own your grief. You experience sadness and melancholy in proportion to the amount that you care. When you hurt because of a loss, it means that you care about winning, you care about life. You have to translate that pain into strength. It might seem impossible, but the human spirit is beyond what we can imagine. People have endured and transcended unthinkable challenges, and we can too.

Kobe taught us many things. He inspired us with his single-minded-focus and unshakable drive to win and to excel. He also combined the strange ferocity of an apex predator with the goofy sensibility of a kid who loves basketball. While he is undoubtedly one of the all-time greats, I love Kobe because he reminds me of a kid I never knew, a kid who was a basketball nerd, a gym rat, a hoop god. But, what I loved most about Kobe was the way he talked about his daughters.

When tragedy strikes, we are tempted to fall into negative patterns, but if we have the courage to own our own sadness, then it can make us grow stronger, more careful and more available to our loved ones. You never know what is going to happen, so it is always important to let the people in your life know that you love them. RIP Kobe and Gigi. Prayers for the Bryant family, for the Altobelli family, for the Zoboyans, and for the Mauser family. We grieve for those we know, but it is not difficult to remember these other people and to feel for them as well. Prayers and thoughts go out to everyone affected.

Waves on Mars

Why are people drawn to the edges of things? When you fly over the country, you see the patterns of our development very clearly. We form tight grids and stick to the edges of things. It is almost like the edge of a territory is the surface of some kind of water. We tend to remain where there is visibility. We stay out in the open.

Attracted to light

But there are some who choose to live up in the mountains. Some people make that commute each day and nestle away in some canyon nook up in the higher elevations. There are lots of reasons to live in a remote location, but can we escape from the advance of the digital age? These things are hard to answer, because we don’t know what is going to change. For example, we only learned about CFCs and their effect on the ozone layer after the damage was done. Now, we are seemingly waiting on an innovation from technology to save us from catastrophe.

Exploring dusk

We are experiencing a high degree of Techlash, or backlash against tech, and are putting all of our faith in technology at the same time. The thing is, we have no reason to trust. That is possibly our stupidest trait, but maybe it is also our most beneficial. Intelligence doesn’t equal the good. For something to be good it has to work for people and there are so many different ways that things work or don’t. You have to judge things by their results.

Lighthouse wave

In some ways we are on the edge of a new territory because of the rapid advance of technology. We are entering a new phase of discovery. Some of those ways are literal. Elon Musk is planning on sending a million people to Mars. I didn’t think that was possible, but there he went and said it and he seems to be quite serious about it, too. Now talk about proactive, that’s really getting ahead of the curve. That is a serious programmatic attempt to radically increase the human sphere of influence. Why is he doing it? To get away from AI? Is it inevitable to colonize other planets? Are we already beyond repairing the earth’s atmosphere? If it is possible to make Mars suitable to human life, then why are we so worried about global warming? Isn’t Mars hotter than anything we experience? Lots of questions with that one. The edge of where humans call home is about to radically expand.

Golden hour

There’s one big unanswered question: will there be waves on Mars? What kind of gravity is there? Is it possible to harvest water from deep space to create a wave pool? Will Kelly Slater still be ripping at that time? Questions, questions, questions…

Put a bird on it

I don’t want to go to Mars, but I can see it happening. That shit is likely as fuck. I don’t know why. It just seems like something I would do. Hopefully it’s cool. The main thing I don’t like about Mars is the whole family aspect. I don’t want to leave my family. Maybe we will all go? Hopefully, we will make that voyage after they’ve worked out a few of the bugs and have that wave pool pumping. What about skateboarding? What is the gravity situation like on Mars? I’m sure they will be pouring tons and tons of hempcrete up there, so there are sure to be some sick spots. But what about the oxygen levels? I know so little about the red planet.

Life on Mars

I know that Elon Musk is a highly effective person, though, and it makes me wonder if he read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, because he would make Stephen Covey proud as a pride of lions. I’m studying that landmark book because I think that it is one of the most helpful self-development books of all time and anyone who I respect is basically working through different parts of this system. Covey was a genius. All hail Stephen Covey. He is a lighthouse in the darkness for people who didn’t receive adequate discipline or structure as a youth. For anyone who wants to be more effective in what they are doing, the book is a treasure trove of wisdom and practical advice.

Covey is a lighthouse

Say you are a skateboarder and people are starting to comment  on your style and you want to try to move beyond casual and occasional sponsorships to really create a career for yourself, then this book can help you to master the process of creating your path in such a chaotic world. I mean think about Elon and all of the thousands of things for him to think about, but he is still coming up with these huge visions. It’s because he has good habits and has mastered how to make effective use of his time.

Texture and color baby

The first habit is to be proactive. That is such an important word. It has roots in Ralph Waldo Emerson’s idea of self-reliance. To be able to get things started is to increase the likelihood that business will happen, that other people will care. If you take it upon yourself to produce your own media, to curate your own projects, and to communicate with the public about the work you are doing and want to do, then lots more things are likely to happen for you. Being proactive is key to attracting opportunities you want.

Metaphoto

What does it mean to be proactive in photography? It can mean all kinds of different things depending on the kinds of photos you take. It could include contacting models, brands, clients, doing a podcast, having a YouTube channel, creating tutorials, networking with other photographers, etc. The only limitation to the ways you can be proactive is your imagination. You can study other photographers. What is working for them? Why? You can learn about art history. What is the meaning of the way we make photographs today? You can learn about the technology. What makes a mirrorless camera different? Education is always a way to expand the circle of your influence, as Covey suggests. You need skills, knowledge and desire in order to do good work and there are ways to develop each of those elements. That is part of what it means to be proactive as a photographer.

Father and son

It also means having vision. You have to get really good at knowing what you like and why and how to get it. How do you make your photographs? What would you say your style is? That is always the question that keeps coming back up. Being able to answer it is an important first step to increasing what you are able to do.

Lighthouse during a swell

Imagining Sustainability

This whole thing is a miracle if you look at it right. The simplest things are the most sublime. Our breath. An involuntary act. It is the source of life and it runs on autopilot. It’s a very magical existence we share. I’m constantly reminded of this by the things I encounter when shooting photographs, but this perspective is also due to writing and reflecting. The disciplines of photography and writing give me this ability to see the world with a fresh point of view.

Sunrise over the Bay

Yesterday morning, we headed out before sunrise and chose the wharf as the setting we would use. We are still recovering from the flu, so Wilder is not realistic for the sunrise shoot, for now. Luckily, there are lots of very close places that have tons of potential for photography. The wharf is less than a mile away and it has tons of interesting subjects to study. Not only is it a liminal space (somewhere in between land and water), but it is an iconic Santa Cruz location. So many people have visited the wharf with its view of the Boardwalk and its famous residents: the Sea Lions.

Our Whiskered Friend

The proximity of the wharf is important. We are trying to use as little energy as possible in the production of our work. Keeping close means being more creative and we still haven’t reached the point of boredom where that creative energy really thrives. There is a confusing thing that happens with photography because the experience of making a photograph can be so exciting. Those photos, when something extraordinary is going down, are important too. They are just not as creative. In other words, if the world in front of you is on fire with color because of an amazing sunrise, then you don’t have to do much to get a great shot. It is when the light is not great and the day seems to have no particular interest that the spirit of invention and experimentation wakes up. By limiting the range of where we are working, we both reduce the amount of energy we use, and we increase the likelihood of engaging those creative muscles that are usually born from necessity. If you need to be the source of the interest in your content, then you will be. That is one of the challenges of living in such a beautiful place. The world barely gives you a moment to be less than enthralled.

Lighthouse Wave Seen from Wharf

Sustainability is the word of 2020, I’ll tell you that right now. You are going to get sick of hearing about it, but that shouldn’t matter. It’s too important for us to think about it like some kind of programming. Unfortunately, that’s how humans seem to get stuff done: by programming ourselves and others. So, it’s going to have some of that amateur media critic vibe to the movement. You know, the Eco-Yelpers. The thing is, sustainability matters for everyone, so we need to rise to the occasion. My goal is to educate myself about the subject and to practice raising awareness by sharing what I learn.

Future Looking Sustainable

I am currently developing a course based on this idea and I have named it “Imagining Sustainability.” I believe that the biggest obstacle to our transition to more sustainable energy sources and business practices is our collective ability to see the problem and to envision a solution. We need the road map. This is an era of exploration. The brands who figure out sustainability in the next few years will be the brands that last into the future as institutions of culture.

That Morning Sun

One thing that I want to say about climate change and sustainable development: it is nobody’s fault. I do not think that holding individuals accountable for the situation is going to help. I believe that businesses and other organizations should take responsibility for providing more sustainable solutions. I certainly do not think that people living below the poverty line should have to spend more money to be more ecologically engaged. We need greener and more affordable solutions. To achieve sustainable development, the new products and services need to be better. The market seems to move much less quickly driven by ethical concerns than it does for the desire for better goods.

Let’s do it for this guy!

This course I am designing is for content creators who want to be a part of the sustainable development movement. I am going to be reading and sharing ideas from a bunch of great books and authors. Half of the course is going to be focused on self-development, the other half on the history and challenges of sustainable development. The term comes from a conference held in 1987 called “Our Common Future” and that is one of the important starting points of the conversation.

Sustainable Development 2020

I want to repeat a very important point: I do not think that individuals should feel responsible for climate change or sustainable development. I mean, people can feel however they feel of course, but there is something much bigger that needs to happen. How we act individually of course has great importance because anything that you multiply billions of times has an enormous impact. If the range of choices that people can make is full of better options, then we stand a chance. Of course, we still need people to behave. Or do we?

Morning Breath

The example that comes to mind is the parking lots up north and unfortunately some beaches, where people dump their trash out. This is an especially repulsive pattern as the coastline is pristine and beautiful and seeing fast food packaging and alcoholic seltzer cases littered around is a bummer for sure. But, it is an opportunity for jobs. Every problem is a potential for a new solution. If we can’t successfully convince people to stop throwing their trash on the side of the road, then let’s make it a priority and invest in keeping public spaces clean. But also, if businesses were not making packaging that doesn’t biodegrade then it wouldn’t be in danger of contaminating the ocean. Speaking of that, what is happening with hemp? That is another big question I have, since it was federally legalized last year and we have heard of the promising products that it can help us to create. Look, plastic is an extremely new invention and it has had such a big impact on our planet, but it isn’t the end solution, obviously. We are in the last phases of the plastic era, and a new hemp-based future is starting to break the dark of night.

Sunny Spots

Back to the sunrise at the wharf. Keeping it close, making the most out of what we have within a narrow range of distance, and entering into this in between world where you are suspended over the ocean on a wooden stretch of road and buildings held up on wooden sticks. When you look at a wharf from a distance it looks preposterous. When you drive out on it, every instinct of automotive preservation screams go back. Cars are not supposed to be surrounded by that much salt water. But it is a normal thing: a wharf. We have them everywhere. The banality of the magical.

Just Jumped Up

The sunrise helps to remind us of that magic as the moments before the break of dawn are something like a wharf of light, this bridge that takes us out into the space in front of us. Then, the first golden rays of light streaming from the golden disc as it crests the horizon line hit all the wet slowly waking things out there gently rocking above the Pacific blue. Some of these waking things start making some very funny noises as they wrestle for position. The Sea Lions warm themselves on the understructure of the wharf in the morning and those first amazing beams of warmth are a prized possession or position, really. They bark and scream and bellow and bite. It is a dramatic scene that takes place in the underbelly of the pier. And it is symbolic of the very animalistic ways we engage with each other. For all the amazing abilities of abstraction and self-reflection, despite whatever linguistic innovations or scientific understandings we have achieved, on a very real and daily level of existence we are so much like those Sea Lions battling over that comfortable warmth from the first moments of daylight.

But I called that spot!

I don’t often talk about gear, because I’m more interested in process and narrative, but for the kinds of shots I was getting at the wharf you need one very important and expensive tool: a telephoto lens. I was using a 400mm 5.6 prime L Series Canon lens mounted with a Sigma converter to a Sony A7Rii body. I love this combination. The color, contrast and sharpness all are great, and it gives you the ability to pull tightly cropped expressions from wildlife. You have to have a long lens to shoot wildlife responsibly. Yes, they have made the wharf their home, but they are still wild and should be respected as such.

First Rays

There is a landing on the east facing side of the wharf which gets the most sun the earliest and this is where the babies sleep with their mamas. How is it that nobody is fighting over this space, we do not know and can only conclude that it is because of the ferocity of mothers and their desire to keep their brood safe and close. Apparently, those battle have already been won, and the males prance around on the other beams fighting for prime spots.

Relatable

Most living things are constantly adapting to the changes in the environment. The Sea Lions didn’t ask for the wharf, but they use it to their advantage and the same goes for most humans, I believe. It is only when businesses, governments and other organizations achieve the skills, the knowledge and the will to develop sustainably that we will have a future more full of promise than fear.

Waves, Color and Light in Photography

There are a million valid approaches to photography and any of them can lead a dedicated lover of light to a path of making successful images. The goal of all photography is the same, however: it is to be seen. The experience of looking at a photograph is the thing that we are contributing to the public. What kind of looking experience are you hoping to create?

Sunset Watchers

I’ve been thinking lately about the difference between photography that is inner directed versus externally stimulated. This is a key distinction and I’m not saying that one is better than the other, but if you want your work to have style and vision then you might need to think about this nexus. It always comes down to the question: why are you taking the photograph? What is your motivation?

Tension in the Water

When you photograph a product or a lifestyle shot you have certain goals. You are trying to please a client and to create beautiful images that they can use confidently to represent their brand. You want to tell a story about the experience that they are offering. This helps you to understand how to direct the elements of your photography. When you do work for a client, you start with the purpose of the shot.

Morning Show

You can do the same thing for yourself, too. You just have to think about it as though you are your own boss, because you are. There is a tremendous urge in the era of social media to create images that are pleasing to the public. Sunsets, puppies, etc. Are these things genuinely your interests or are they just an effective way of getting your work seen? They say that is one of the first rules of marketing. If you want to sell lots of stuff then choose something that people already like. Some things are more appealing than others, even though it is really up to the public to decide. If you are making things that people like, where is your point of view being expressed?

Waves and Light

That is why it is important to do personal work as well as the work that is going to pay the bills. If you spend time scratching your own itch, if you figure out what it is you really like and why, then your work will grow. The thing is, you can still like the things that other people like. You don’t have to avoid the sunsets just because they are popular. That’s not what I’m saying. I think that it is important to carve out your own inner driven photography, too.

What Draws Your Attention?

What does it mean to do inner driven photography? I guess it is easier to explain the opposite. Yesterday morning I was writing and finishing up my coffee when I checked the window in the kitchen that faces the ocean and I could see the clouds already starting to light up. At that moment, I could tell that if I didn’t move quickly I would miss my favorite part of the sunrise light. So, I got my stuff together and met the morning light ready to get those shots. This was not motivated by my feelings about where we are as humans, well not entirely. Maybe it is just how you think about it, too. But it was the indication of color in the sky that alerted me to the possibility of an amazing shot. And, since we are in the business of getting things seen it is important to be there to get those shots, too.

A popular spot to watch the sunset

The shots that I am working on that are more inner driven and personal are portraits of Madison that we do on our hikes. Those are more meaningful to me because of our connection. We are in love and we share some amazing areas of overlap in our interests. She is a beautiful woman and a model so when we work together our personal feelings are enhanced by our professional skills. By combining these elements, my hope is to create images that will be profoundly individual but also universal. Love is one of the great powers that humans have access to and this is a project that is based in love.

Love the break of day

Since it is flu season, however, not every morning is available for hiking into the cold to get a beautiful photo. So, I have been going solo. And yesterday morning it was obviously going to be an amazing day. The sunrise was mystical as any day breaking over the sanctuary of Monterey Bay has ever been. Huge sets bringing high tide steamers through crashed against the cliff and increased the drama and energy of the morning. The sunrise is a symbol of hope and renewal. At least it is for me. It is also an amazing show. My love for sunrise and sunset is genuine as anything ever has been. As a painter, I am continually amazed by my own capacity for shock.

The qualities of light in the morning are varied. First of all, you have the blue hour. This is when the darkness of space gradually gives way to the day’s illumination in silver blue tones. We read color symbolically, so this time of day is often a mood that invites calm and reflection if not melancholy, but if there is the right amount of clouds in the sky, then that blue is violently interrupted by shocking hues of red and pink that are brighter and more gauche than any neon artist’s dreams. In fact, there is something so lacking in subtlety about the sunrise that it is extremely tasteless. No rich person would ever choose to paint the sunrise the way it happens on those most colorful days. No, that kind of color is too much for old money. It begs too much attention. It is narcissistic. It is a performer on the stage. To some people, the sunrise is a dancing bear working for peanuts.

Not for us, though. For us, it is inspiration. It is courage with color. It is aggressive happiness. The sunrise is a message of more than hope. It is screaming at us. This is your essence. You are this beautiful, crass, dramatic extreme moment of wild untamed energy. The sunrise is our true calling. We are eternal, we are infinite, we are light. When you see it and recognize it your entire being fills with that energy. And then the first five minutes of light after the sun crosses that horizon line are the softest most golden rays of light you will ever have access to. There is no softbox in the world, no reflector, no strobe, no led, no nothing that can compare to the beauty of that light. This is a subtle light, though, and it is exactly the kind of light that old money loves. It is gold, it is finite, it is rare. This special light can be used in a number of valuable ways. It is only five minutes past sunrise and you have already experienced three radically different kinds of light. This is what it means to be a photographer to me.

Some days the light is amazing. Some days the ocean offers you a dynamic swell that you could just chase and watch all day. Some days you get both. This is when it is very difficult to do anything but feast. It is an embarrassment of riches and you feel like you are shooting fish in a barrel, but they are still fish.

When the waves are good, Santa Cruz focuses on the ocean. Most people are trying to get in position to get some waves. For me, I get as much satisfaction from a great photograph of a wave as a ride on one, and I can use the photos afterwards, so I stick with the camera. I think that some people can do all kinds of things, and I do work in a lot of different media already. But, I like to keep my obsession squarely directed towards the act of making photos. I don’t dilute any of my drive. I focus it on photography and let making images be supremely important to me.

Also, it gives me the opportunity to photograph professional surfers or my friends who want photos. Photographing surfing is difficult. You need the right equipment and a lot of knowledge. Angles and timing are even more important when you are trying to capture the act of riding a moving ramp of water that wraps around the reef hitting moments of light and reflection that create magical sparks of interest in the photos.

Yesterday my friend Sasha hit me up mid-day with a report of some good waves and so I met him somewhere cool and got a few photos. Standing on the beach looking through a 400mm lens watching the sets and trying to pick out my buddy from the pack of non-descript wetsuit-wearing surfers is a challenge for sure. There are so many distractions from the birds to the people walking by and the waves themselves are constantly drawing your attention. As you wait for someone to take off on a peak you see a grinding barrel down the beach. It takes a lot of timing, patience and self-control to stick with one surfer and try to get them shots. Yesterday, we got some good ones. Sasha is a brilliant lawyer who also happens to love surfing and art, so we get along well and laugh at ourselves as often as possible. It’s so important to me to not take myself too seriously. You have to laugh at yourself. It is mandatory in my book. Out in the morning watching the sky painted with crazy colors that would make a hip-hop artist blush and you are standing there with a tripod and a camera. It’s funny.

Due to the popularity of surfing, there is often a lot of tension in the water. The best way to deal with this increasing tendency is to be respectful, but you see a lot of conflicts going down. There are limited amounts of waves each day and sometimes people fight over them. It happens and if nobody gets too hurt, it is funny. Of course, it is much, much better to be cool and respectful and to enjoy your time in the water peacefully. There is definitely the potential in the water to achieve a powerful state of equanimity and equilibrium. It is good for us. But, the stress of trying to compete for waves can get the best of us, too.

Yesterday was a day that couldn’t stop giving. The sunset was just as dramatic and powerful as sunrise. The cliffs were full of people watching the sunset and it was a great scene. Instead of just getting the color and the landscape I enjoyed portraying the whole scene including the sunset watchers and the guy with funny santa pajama bottoms on. You see a lot more people watching the sunset, which doesn’t make it less valuable to me. I just like to get them in the scene sometimes. That is one of the great things about living here. We see sunrises and sunsets over the water.

We are in the middle of an amazing run of weather and waves and so busy is the way to be, but I’m looking forward to a slower time coming up when I can refocus on the work that we are doing up at Wilder, which is much more inner driven and important to me. It’s all important, but I feel like that work is the greatest contribution that I have to make. You have to be the judge of your own work. You have to say what you think is good and important even if nobody else likes it. You get to decide what you put out there and what you leave behind. What other people think of it is not yours to control, and that can be difficult when people don’t see what you do, but that is the nature of art and photography.

Notes to a Young Artist

Nobody taught us how to say goodbye. It’s really gonna hurt. Hurtling towards that time when we have to go, running around the coffee shop like a 5-year old hopped up on espresso.

It just hit me. I’m not ready. I’m not ready for any of it, but it doesn’t matter. Not one little bit. It’s gonna happen. To me, to you, to everyone we love.

Have a kid you love. Then feel that.

It’s too fucked to be real, but real it is.

This is why Shakespeare was so great. He expressed the comical levity and the tragic certainty of life with equal energy. It’s a beautiful place full of ecstatic feelings and from time to time the most horrific experiences occur. The more wonderful it seems the harder it stings.

This is one reason why I love punk music. Bands like Black Flag help us to grit our teeth. You gotta get through the hard times. It’s gonna take a lot of hutzpah, kid.

It was the best of times and the worst of times and they just keep getting more intense. Just remember, pain is temporary. Everything passes. If you can embrace it all, make art out of everything. Judge nothing. Trust your own ability to read energy. That’s all it is. Just a bunch of signals.

Somewhere someone right now is suffering because they forgot this. A love was lost, a fortune squandered, their last chance spilled like red wine on white carpet.

Compassion is our greatest strength. To think of others is the hardest task. There’s always room for improvement. And this is how you do it. Be unbothered. Know yourself better than anything else, and especially understand that you are as finite as a wave and as infinite as water. The world is a tremendous paradox and nobody is better or worse than you.

Kindness is strength, violence is weakness, love is everything that matters.

Star Power: Portraits, Styling, and You

     At the time of this writing, there are approximately 7.6 billion people living on this planet according to the Worldometers website. The United States alone has more than 325 million people and we are only the third largest country behind India and China. NPR recently published an article about the United Nations study, which projects that the population will grow to 11.2 billion by the end of the century, but (good news) also that it will likely plateau at that point. That is, the population will reach and stay at 11.2 billion if we survive as a species that long.

 

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Danielle Crook getting ready for her portrait.

     These numbers are difficult to imagine, but they nowhere compare to estimates of how many stars there are in the universe. According to a 2013 article in The Atlantic: “There are roughly a septillion stars in the observable universe. That’s 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars. Which is, for lack of a more fitting description … a lot of stars.” This article also cites a funny and entertaining science YouTube channel called Minute Physics which explains that there are only about 5,000 stars that we can see with the naked eye.

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Nadine Michelle of Purity Salon working on Danielle’s Makeup

     All of this is to say that stars are actually much more common than people. We just don’t always see things that way. So, we end up using the figure of the star as a metaphor to describe someone we see as being extremely rare. When, even if we reach 11.2 billion people, there would still be 892,857,142,857,143, or 893 trillion stars for each person. Maybe there are other reasons to compare people to stars, though. For one thing, stars are the main source of light in the universe, which is why they are important to photographers. No stars, no photo. Humans, as walking talking living breathing experiences of consciousness are a source of light, too.

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Visit Nadine’s website to book a hair and makeup appointment. Follow Danielle on Facebook to learn more about her upcoming concert and other creative projects.

 

     It’s more than their light, though that makes stars and humans similar. Stars are beyond all else mysterious. Where do they come from? Why do they do what they do? What happens when they are gone? Humans are mysterious as stars and for the same reasons. As much as we might want to define people, to give them labels, to judge them according to various ethical standards at the end of it all there is something deeply unknowable about the human being. And being human is a tricky and complicated thing, to say the least.

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Danielle in her Blue Starry Night Dress

     This is partly what makes portraiture so powerful. When you really respect what it means to be human, the act of portraying a person is a profound thing to attempt. This shoot in particular was inspired by the stars which is what got me thinking these cosmic thoughts, lol. My friend Danielle is organizing a classical music concert around the theme of Starry Night with a visual art element as well as piano and singing and I’m helping her to promote the event. For this shoot, she arranged to have her hair and makeup done by the amazingly talented Nadine Michelle at Purity Salon on Soquel St. in Santa Cruz. Nadine did a fantastic job with her styling and she put on the dress she’ll be performing in and we set out to get some shots.

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     First, we went out to the point that divides Main Beach and Seabright Beach. This spot is great for portraits as you can stand out close to the water and have a great distance between the subject and the background. The light was soft and subtle and illuminated Danielle, her hair, and her costume beautifully. Next, we drove over to Capitola Village to take advantage of the holiday lights to create a starry bokeh effect. I think both locations created beautiful portraits and will do well to help raise awareness and sell tickets for the event, which is going to be a really interesting experience for everyone who gets to see and hear the art.

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You are a star, too. In fact, you’re much more special than a star, far more rare. You should have your portrait done, too and I know just the guy to do it. In fact, Nadine and I would love to team up again to give you a look that you’ll love to share with your friends, that will help you to promote your happenings, and that will give the grandkids a kick someday. Or you could just keep taking selfies with your phone. Your choice.

 

Water Power

The Oroville dam is about to bust. Somewhere near 180,000 people had to be evacuated, but that is just the start of the problems. People are losing their homes and there’s no telling how far that water will spread once it is set free. Water is like power is like money. It flows freely and seeks its own level. It is only with major acts of engineering or natural acts of geography that it is ever stored in one place in large amounts. So many of the tragedies we see today are actually symptoms of deeper problems, of engineered imbalances. Building border walls is like building nuclear power plants is like building dams: all bad ideas with consequences nobody wants to experience. Meanwhile, here in little ol’ Santa Cruz the morning was preceded by flash bombs and helicopters. Was it a raid in the planning for 5 years designed to arrest truly violent gang members, or was it a raid on immigrants without the right legal paperwork?
One day, sometime not too far away, this cave will collapse. It kinda makes you appreciate it more when you think of that.

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Shoot it Like It’s Rented

This week I have in my hands a beautiful little camera, the Sony a7ii with a 55mm 1.8 Zeiss lens. I rented this setup from Borrow Lenses and so far I am happy as could be with the results. Here are some photos from my first two days with the camera.

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The Camera in Your Pocket

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Is that a camera in your pocket or are you happy to see me? LOL. Almost everyone has a camera in their pocket these days. This is the first step to making great photos: possess a camera. Beyond owning the device and mastering its settings, you also have to haunt the phone. You have to imbue this little electronic device with some of your spirit. This is happening every day, anyways. We use our phones so much that they smooth from our touch. The electrical exchange between us and our phones extends into these moments we find in the world.

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